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We are too sensitive - I'm included in "We"

yemonja

Not Ranked
Boy

Joined 05-07-2009

Posts 124

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yemonja

I just had an interesting interaction that I think demonstrates how we let our GD slant our perceptions about what other people prefer.

I was chatting with my co-worker about work when she abruptly asked how my DDs are doing.  I immediately showed her a recent photograph of the two and I beamed with pride because they are just so gorgeous.  She looked at the photograph, smiled, told me they were beautiful, and then asked, "Why don't you want a boy?"

Whoa!  Out of the middle of nowhere!  I have NEVER said anything even remotely negative about boys.  In fact, I have NEVER said ANYTHING about boys because the fact that I do not have a DS is very painful for me.  I immediately and non-defensively told her that I really do want a boy and that I hope the third time will be the charm.  She looked very relieved to hear this and promptly changed the subject.  We continued to talk about work instead.

She made the assumption that I did not want a boy based on my obvious love for my DDs when I showed her their photograph.  That is a HUGE leap to make - and one that I am guilty of myself.  Little did she know, I had moderate GD with DD1 and severe GD with DD2.  I have shed more than a few tears over my intense longing for a DS.  It is so fascinating to me that someone else would even think for a second that I did not want a boy.  As if the fact that I have two girls is indicative of that.  Or that I love my DDs means that I do not want a DS.

Anyways, I was not upset at all by this interaction.  If anything, it reminded me that we never know how others really feel and that we should do our best to avoid jumping to conclusions no matter how something might appear.

Like I said, I am guilty of this, too.  I have assumed that people are judging me or pitying me because I have DDs.  They might.  But they might not be, too.

First Choice:  Baby Boy Baby Boy or Baby Boy Baby Girl


Second Choice:  Baby Girl Baby Boy


Got:  Baby Girl Baby Girl


Next?  We might TTC Baby Boy via EGS in 2012 or 2013.  We might adopt.  We might do both.  Either way, thank you, IG, for helping me process my GD and learn to LOVE what I got.

 

GreenZelda

Top 200 Contributor

Eastern Canada

Joined 04-24-2009

Posts 2,016

- IG Top Posters (1000)IG_Gold

GreenZelda

AgreeAgreeAgree

Yes!  And I think this fact can end up causing people a lot of unnecessary pain!

Baby Boy 2005
MS/IVF/PGD Baby Girl Baby Girl OHW Mar 2010 - Thank you IG, Dr. P, Lori, HRC and MS! 
Age 31 at cycle time, with elevated FSH (12.5)
More info: visit my detailed HT blog and/or see my cycle info
Almost done losing the pregnancy weight! Time


 

cutebubs

Top 500 Contributor

Joined 11-30-2008

Posts 879

- IG Top Posters (300)

cutebubs

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Hugs BearHugs BearHugs BearHugs Bear       


                                                       


                                                                                                                                                                            


                                          

 
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